Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
