So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
