evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
