After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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