oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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