I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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