I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
