Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
