somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
