Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
