Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
