So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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