This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Is Oprah even human
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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