I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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