he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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