you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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