Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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