My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
