I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
