At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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