also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
