this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
