This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
