I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
