Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
