Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
