never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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