I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
