College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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