It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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