my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
