Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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