you mean i was at the winter classic?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
