Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
