Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
no, he came in my armpit
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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