i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
