My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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