Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
