Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
