K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
pop tarts are not kleenex
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
