The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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