Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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