The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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