i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
