I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
