What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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