So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
