He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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