whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am one with the molecules
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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