I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
