I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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