Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
